For the past 4 years of my life I have felt confident/curious enough about my facial hair to verbally commit to attempting No Shave November, or Movember, as the kids call it these days. And every single year I’ve made it to this day, November 7th, without shaving. And for almost half a decade, without fail, every November 7th I’ve woken up in the morning, looked in the mirror, and said “NOPE NOPE NOPE OFF IT GOES.”
I just can’t do it and don’t think I’ll ever be able to do it. I’m 20 years old and hair grows kinda sparsely on my chin and above my lip and that’s it. Very little on the sideburns, and a big gap on my cheek. It looks absolutely horrible every single time. If that’s all I’m getting at age 20, when I’ve gotten as tall as I’m gonna get and am getting less athletic by the second, then it looks like I’m gonna be clean shaven my whole life.
I actually came home Saturday night and looked in the mirror and said “Shit, gotta get rid of this.” But then Sunday came around and I figured, I’ll barely be in public today, I’m good with it. I felt like an idiot during my 2 hour group meeting but other than that it was a fine day. But there was no way in hell I was going to class and out around campus today with that 30% goatee thing on my face. It’s a damn shame, but it had to go.
So today, November 7th, will go down in history (for me and probably only me) as “Fuck your beard day”. The day I single out everybody with budding, beautiful facial hair and tell them to get the hell out of my face. Celebrate your scruff all you want, just know that I hate you more than anything in the world today.
Take Zone Sports 