Category: Football

Last night was rock bottom for the NFL

The primetime game last night between the Cardinals and Seahawks was the definition of a trainwreck; it was so ugly and gruesome, but you just couldn’t look away. Because inevitably when disaster struck, you didn’t wanna be that guy that missed it. No matter how much Chandler Catanzaro and Steven Hauschka wish we all stopped watching.

It’s no secret that the NFL is in the shitter right now. Ratings are garbage, even the players hate Goodell, you can’t sneeze after a TD without a flag, and honestly I miss the days of the replacement refs because at least they had an excuse for being awful. How much of this is exclusively Goodell’s fault? A solid 75-80%, I’d say. You can’t take away everyone’s fun (and the best player in the history of the league) and expect nothing to change. The NFL is the most popular league in the country and possibly the world, but it’s not bulletproof.

If you were lucky enough to have not watched last night’s game at all, I’ll hit you with some highlights.

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Oh shit, hm that’s weird. I guess we’ll just look at the scoring plays, then…

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Oh, well then, I guess that checks out. THE. MOST. BORING. GAME. EVER. 3-0 at halftime, 3-3 into OT. And, if you’re like me and my friends, you spent the entire overtime period just BEGGING the game to end. You screamed at Kelcie McCray for tripping up JJ Nelson at the 5 when he had a clear path to the end zone to win the game. You laughed your ass off when Catanzaro missed a 24 yarder with 3:26 left, then laughed EVEN HARDER when Hauschka missed a 28 yarder with 11 seconds left. It was hilarious but also disgustingly pathetic, and I’m insulted that we were forced to endure it.

And don’t give me the “defensive battle” argument, because besides a handful of plays the defenses didn’t do all that much. Yeah they were solid, because these are two strong defensive teams, but make no mistake: it was clueless, unorganized offenses that led to this game being a 6-6 tie. Palmer was trash and Wilson wasn’t much better. Neither team could get anything going on offense and it was physically frustrating to watch. So if you’re like Skip (in this situation or pretty much any other one), you can go ahead and fuck right off.

Yeah, totally right Skip. Nobody likes points and yards, let’s see a defensive battle. Just like how every casual fans looooves a pitcher’s duel, because who the hell wants to see a giant man hit a ball 500 feet? Bulletproof logic there, totally holds up.

The worst part is, as bad as last night was, it may get worse before it gets better. And that’ll start with Thursday night, a night that has become synonymous with “electric” color rush uniforms and terrible, terrible football, when the 2-4 Jaguars travel to Tennessee for a meeting with the 3-4 Titans. Oh, joy! Here’s hoping that next Sunday can at least begin to bring us out of this hole and we can try to get back to real football.

Thanks, Goodell!

The Bears Stink

The Chicago Bear’s shit-stain of a season continued last night with a 10-26 loss going up against the Green Bay Packers. When are the Bears going to throw in the towel and realize that this franchise is going nowhere? Jay Cutler sucks, but he got hurt so in comes Hoyer. Hoyer is okay, he was an average backup but last night broke his arm right in half. So now who’s the quarterback? Matt Barkley. There is a breaking point for Bears fans, there has to be. There is a breaking point in every fan base, sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and admit you royally suck. And Bears fans…Matt Barkley should be the breaking point.

 

You have a back-up running back with Jordan Howard who was good at first but now is starting to show his true colors. Jay Cutler thinks about the money he’s making more than he prepares for the game. The draft has been a nightmare, look up Bears drafts from 2008-now, it is hilarious. Last night just summed up the season the Bears already have had and are going to have for the next ten years. Good thing the Cubs and Bulls are looking good, at least you have something to root for.

 

Why is replacing Dak Prescott with Tony Romo even being discussed?

The Dallas Cowboys have been one of the biggest surprises in the NFL so far. After losing a 1-point game to the division-rival Giants in Week 1, a game that was definitely winnable without some key mistakes down the stretch, the Cowboys have rattled off 5 straight victories, knocking off some solid teams in the process. The defense has been solid, currently sitting at 4th in the NFC allowing just 17.8 points per game, and the emergence of rookie RB Ezekiel Elliot (leads the NFL with 703 rushing yards) is a huge reason why Dallas has been so successful, but it’s impossible to look at this team and say their 5-1 record isn’t hugely due to the play of Dak Prescott. His numbers haven’t exactly jumped off the stat sheet (1,486 yards, 68.7% completion rate, 7 TD, 1 INT, 3 rushing TD) but his maturity and poise leading this team have been undeniable.

Dak has done absolutely everything he’s had to do to get this team to where it can be. He’s had inconsistent receiver play, especially with Dez Bryant getting “hurt” so often, but he hasn’t let it hinder him. He’s played against two top-10 pass defenses (Chicago #10 Week 3, San Francisco #7 Week 4) and in those 2 games he was 42-56 (75%) with 3 TDs (plus 1 rushing) and 0 INTs. This guy is 100% legit, and he has no business getting the rug swept out from under him mid-season when this team is on a 5 game winning streak. They’re winning, they’re playing well, and Dak has to stay.

Not that many people besides Jerry Jones are arguing for Romo’s sake here, but I’ll play Devil’s advocate: isn’t this Tony’s team? He’s been starting here for 10 years, he’s got free reign to come back, right? Right?

Nope. Romo has been injured in each of the last 4 seasons, and 3 out of those 4 have been back injuries. Let’s not act like a herniated disc or fractured vertebrae is the same as a sprained knee or bruised rib, because they’re not. Romo is 36, historically injury-prone, and ultimately he’s not stacking up anymore. Want a sneak peek in how his return this year may go? Last year, after returning from a broken collarbone, Romo played 2 games. In those games (a 24-14 win over the 6-10 Dolphins, and a 33-14 loss to the eventual NFC champion Panthers), he was 29-49 (59%) with 333 yards, 2 TDs, and 5 INTs. Would that be an improvement over Dak? Doesn’t look like it.

Look, having this discussion makes sense to a point. Romo has been the face of this franchise for a decade, he’s stuck around through thick and thin, and he’s generally played well. And if Dallas was 2-4 and Prescott was in over his head, I’d be all for giving Tony the reigns and letting him try to turn it around. But the Cowboys are winning, Dak is excelling, and it just doesn’t make sense to kill the momentum at this point. That being said, Jerry Jones will probably just go ahead and do it anyway, so what do I know?

No Surprises Here

Oh what a day! What a lovely day! It is weird to say that the Patriots are back considering they are coming into week 5 with a 3-1 record but they are back! Let’s GO!

I don’t think anyone was coming into this game thinking that the Patriots were even going to keep this game close so no surprises there. The big thing was how well Brady played reassuring everyone that he is still Mr. Big Dick and will stuff you in a locker when you step up. Tom finished the game 28/40 on pass attempts with 406 yards and 3 TDs so you can say he at least did okay. I mean he clearly can do better according to himself, after the game Tom said the team had a great day but he thought he could have done a little better and there was still some rust. Yeah, whatever Tom. Speaking for the overwhelming majority, we wanted a 40 point win at least so we are all disappointed in your play as well but we will let it go this time but you are on thin ice.

HUGE takeaway from this game was clearly the emergence of the greatest tight end duo of all time. All 3 of Tom’s touchdowns were thrown to Martellus Bennett who finished the game with 6 receptions for 67 yards and Gronk had 5 receptions for 109 yards. This game was basically telling every team in the NFL you better be able to score a whole lot because once this team gets into the red zone, it’s automatic. Having these two is the biggest matchup problem any team will have to face in the entire NFL and having to worry about Edelman, Hogan, and Blount at the same time, it is simply impossible to choose who you want to cover.

One of the things that was a “key to success” going into this game was stopping the run game. I put “” because I was expecting success no matter what the patriots did, the Browns are the most laughable franchise of all time. So the key to beating them by a lot more was to stop the second leading rusher in the NFL coming into this game. Isaiah Crowell has been a big surprise for the Browns this year because everyone was expecting the Browns to have a split backfield between him and Duke Johnson Jr. but Crowell has clearly been the one that has excelled for them. The Patriots completely shut down the run game which every team has struggled with against the Browns. Crowell was held to just 22 yards on 13 attempts. Not ideal for my fantasy team but fuck it, great job boys. Malcom Brown led the way for the defensive front achieving his first two sacks of the season. Even though we were playing the 10987th string quarterback, it was a good sign to be seeing Brown finally showing his true talent.

Last comment on this game, Are we finally seeing the Patriots worry about Brady’s health?  It was a smart move by Belichick to take Brady out by the end of the game but I barely ever see him actively trying to make sure Tom does not see any late game cheap shots. However, this game was a little chippy even from the start. Cyrus Jones continued to pursue his life long dream of being murdered by Bill Belichick by getting thrown out of the game for a personal foul. His ass is going to get cut real soon if he keeps this up because this organization has no room for mercy. You think they care about when they drafted you? They can pick up trash off the street and make it a pro-bowler so be careful Cyrus. Get it together.

It’s Almost Time…

The Red Sox are down 0-2 so I thought as New England sports fans we could remind ourselves that a monster is being unleashed tomorrow. So here are a couple of pump up videos.

Odell Beckham is just ridiculous

I really really really tried hard to be a fan of Odell Beckham, Jr. The guy is obviously insanely physically talented, and that catch that jumpstarted his popularity still baffles me to this day. And let’s not forget that he was the fastest player in NFL history to record 200 career receptions. The guy can flat out ball, but for Christ’s sake, could he be any more of a bitch?

To a certain point, I can deal with it. Wide receivers gonna wide receiver, right? WRs have historically been the divas of the NFL, and if we put up with it from guys like Ocho and TO, why not OBJ? Hell, Steve Smith Sr. is one of my favorite guys in the NFL due to some of the shit he pulls both on and off the field. I like a little flair, a little talk, maybe some hits after the whistle here and there. Who doesn’t? It makes things interesting. But now he’s embarrassing himself and his teammates, and on top of that he’s not producing at all. You know what you and OBJ have in common? You both have the same number of TDs through 4 games this season.

Even last week when he was crying and getting bodied by a kicking net, it was kinda funny. I’m not a fan of this team, so I don’t really have to deal with the consequences of his actions, but he’s getting kind of hard to ignore now.

You’re “not having fun anymore”? Maybe don’t drop a bunch of passes on Monday Night Football against one of the best defenses in the league. And you’re frustrated by your role? Wanna know how many targets OBJ had last night? NINE. Yes, tied for the most on the team. NINE TIMES Eli tried to get you the ball. That’s not good enough for you? Maybe catch more than 3 of them. And if you want more of a “role”, maybe do something good for your team? Pump somebody on your own team up, instead of riling up every DB that’ll listen? When somebody hits you after you’ve stepped out of bounds, instead of throwing a punch and losing 15 yards for your team, maybe just blow by him on the next play? Let your play do the talking and just shut your mouth for 20 minutes, and maybe your team will respect you a little.

Think about it: Giants fans have put up with inconsistent QB play from a quarterback who is actually pretty talented, multiple injuries to starting running backs, and oh yeah, their best defensive lineman BLEW HIS FINGER OFF WITH FIREWORKS. And yet, you’re the tipping point for them. You’re what’s causing problems on that team. Seriously?

Ravens Cut Justin Forsett

Ravens have decided to part ways with Justin Forsett. It was about time that the Ravens cut a running back because having 4 people fighting for the starting spot seemed unnecessary. Apparently Terrence West showed enough for him to be the guy for the time being. I’m sure some team will pick Forsett up as a depth piece but as of now he is currently unemployed.

 

Matt Ryan for MVP?

Matt Ryan has been nothing short of spectacular these first four games. Dan Quinn was already asked about Ryan’s MVP potential and if he keeps this up, I will not be surprised to see him in the conversation.

Matt Ryan leads the league among QBs in passing yards (1,473) and QBR (90.7). He also is tied with Ben Roethlisberger for the most passing TDs. The Falcons sit atop of the NFC South and are already up 2 games from second place. Julio Jones went on a rampage this game racking up 300 receiving yards. I know it is only week 4 and I guarantee the winner of the MVP’s name is going to rhyme with Dom Grady but if Matt Ryan keeps this pace and the Falcons win what was supposed to be a tough division, then he seriously will have a case for the MVP.

It’s about time Matt Ryan breaks through the elite barrier if he does because I have always like Matty Ice. He has always been that dude that was good but still isn’t elite but not average either. He has been sitting in that middle-ground for a couple of seasons now and has an opportunity to finally break through.

Blount keeps the Pats Rollin’

What. A. Game. That might have been my favorite game to watch out of the past two seasons. For one, The Patriots were not the favorite to win the game which is beyond ridiculous because the Texans are a joke and we are the fucking New England Patriots, show some respect. They scored 0 points, goose egg, nada, nothing. This is a team equipped with one of the best receivers in the league, one of the best running backs, a quarterback who just got PAID, and Will Fuller who has put on a show the first two games of the season and our defense managed to shut them down.

Was JJ even in the game? I don’t think I saw him, he produced just as much as their offense did. This Houston defensive line is supposed to be one of the best in the NFL and the three touchdowns the Pats had were rushing.

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Is this what is feels like to have a QB that can run? Feels weird. I like it. Our rushing attack has been more than productive these first 3 weeks and that is the work of Mr. LeGarrette Blount who is already having a monster year. Through three games, he has 298 yards with 4 touchdowns. He is a machine. He was the biggest factor in this game with over 100 yards rushing and 2 TDs and he looks better than I have ever seen him and now Brady will be even more of a threat with play action come week 5.

This game should be recognized as one of the best wins under coach Belichick because he continually shows that coaching will overcome any setback and he has clearly proven that with two wins with a back up and one with the 3rd string QB. The Pats won in such a dominating way that it is impossible to discredit Belichick on this one. Obviously everyone stepped up but Bill’s philosophy of preparation was in the spotlight last night.

The Patriots are UNDERDOGS against Houston on Thursday?!

So this week, the 2-0, ranked #1 by ESPN Patriots will host the 2-0 Texans on Thursday Night Football. The Pats have been plagued by injuries early on, playing both games without Pro Bowl tight end Rob Gronkowski and, obviously, Tom Brady, and now it looks pretty unlikely that Jimmy G will be able to take the field Thursday (although the team has yet to confirm that). Nonetheless, Jacoby Brissett is set to start if needed, and with proper gameplanning I think he’ll be just fine out there. I mean, this is arguably the best team in the NFL, at home, with one of the greatest coaches in NFL history on their sideline. Shouldn’t a problem, right?

Well, let’s check what Vegas is saying about this one.

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WHATTTTTT?!?!?!??!?!?!? Three point UNDERDOGS? Jesus Christ, like I understood being in this position week 1: on the road, defending NFC champs, Jimmy hadn’t played a snap yet, etc. etc. But now? Have you people learned nothing? If I didn’t have literally $17 dollars in my bank account (#college) I’d legit put a billion dollars on this game. There is NO DOUBT in my mind the Pats win this game, it’s just that simple. I’m not saying that as a fan, I’m saying it as a person who understands how football works. Gronk or no Gronk, Brady or no Brady, Nink or no Nink, we’ll win. It might not be pretty, they may worry us a bit like Miami did, but the Pats. Will. Not. Lose. Book it.

*knocks on wood repeatedly until 8:00 on Thursday*